I’m not enjoying this

The last two days have been rough! I know it’s just a phase, I know that next week at this time it could be a completely different story, but for right now, I’m not enjoying motherhood. I think it was because it rained all day yesterday which means that we were stuck in the house, which means that my kids watched way too much TV, which made me feel guilty and made them antsy and whiny which made me wish that I was deaf. I think it could also be that I’ve been really busy finishing up work stuff, trying to make my “make it gift,” getting calendars together on the internet, blah, blah, blah… long story short, I haven’t showered since Sunday. That’s always depressing.

I hate the guilt I feel when I think about what life was life before I had kids, or wanting a vacation more than anything in the world (where the kids stay behind), or actually thinking and saying aloud (as my mom did to us) that I just want to pack my bags and run away. When she told us that I pictured her walking down the street with her suitcase. I know how she’s feels now.

Currently, Caden is in time out for the third time today. Mind you, it’s only 9:41am and Jacob is in the family room crying and whining, as he has been doing every waking moment for the past 24 hours. I’m almost ready to pull my ears off.

I know, I know I should be grateful. I have two beautiful, healthy, funny, smart children. I am so blessed. I love them so much that sometimes I feel like my heart is going to explode. But, just today, I’m not enjoying this.

Alright, enough whining. I’m gonna go take a shower now.

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6 responses

  1. I hear ya!
    Monday morning was so bad I threatened Nate that I wasnt going to let him go to school. But then I realized that then he’d just be here and I would’nt get my 3 hours with only 1 little monster. So we went, pouring rain and all.

  2. When I call Mike to vent he reminds me to think of one good interaction I had today with my kids. It really does help, even if it is something silly like one of the girls remembering to put her sippy on the table instead of upside down on the couch. So there’s the mini-challenge, when life gives you pouring rain, find the rainbow!

  3. HI Erin,
    I am glad you found me, I love your website, you are one funny girl 🙂 I am glad to know that every mom has rough days. So Christmas break is here, yea! No work for a little while. I am sorry you are bored over at RHS we miss you, especially Pat. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas and I will stop by and see you when we get back in session I promise!

  4. Hey girl,
    Yeah, I am glad we found each others blogs. I had so much fun reading yours. It is great to know other mommies out there have bad days too.
    You have such a cute family. I Love the picture on the front page of your blog, it is adorable.
    Have a great Christmas, and enjoy your time off!
    ps, Pat says hi! hehehe, Danielle started it 🙂

  5. Oh yeah, i hear ya sister. Inside I’m having these conversations like “Everybody SHUT UP and leave me alone!” and then I wince because of the guilt, the ingratitude, all of that stuff you mentioned. Right now I’m able to step back away from it all and not make it mean anything — about my mothering capabilities or my love or anything. It just IS…sometimes…like that.

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