The last two days have been rough! I know it’s just a phase, I know that next week at this time it could be a completely different story, but for right now, I’m not enjoying motherhood. I think it was because it rained all day yesterday which means that we were stuck in the house, which means that my kids watched way too much TV, which made me feel guilty and made them antsy and whiny which made me wish that I was deaf. I think it could also be that I’ve been really busy finishing up work stuff, trying to make my “make it gift,” getting calendars together on the internet, blah, blah, blah… long story short, I haven’t showered since Sunday. That’s always depressing.
I hate the guilt I feel when I think about what life was life before I had kids, or wanting a vacation more than anything in the world (where the kids stay behind), or actually thinking and saying aloud (as my mom did to us) that I just want to pack my bags and run away. When she told us that I pictured her walking down the street with her suitcase. I know how she’s feels now.
Currently, Caden is in time out for the third time today. Mind you, it’s only 9:41am and Jacob is in the family room crying and whining, as he has been doing every waking moment for the past 24 hours. I’m almost ready to pull my ears off.
I know, I know I should be grateful. I have two beautiful, healthy, funny, smart children. I am so blessed. I love them so much that sometimes I feel like my heart is going to explode. But, just today, I’m not enjoying this.
Alright, enough whining. I’m gonna go take a shower now.