I’m at a loss

I have no idea how to handle my lovely three year old and his sleep issues.  They’ve gotten worse.  Now, not only do I have to sit in his room until he falls asleep, but he wakes up around midnight every night to join Geric and I in our bed… which means one of us is moving out to the couch.  The kid insists on sleeping sideways.  I know Supernanny would walk him back to his bed a hundred trillion times until he gets the idea, but a) I’m tired and b) he’ll scream and wake up his brother, and I really don’t need two tired toddlers awake in the middle of the night.  So he stays with us.  I’m trying to embrace the family bed, but I think we need a bigger mattress.

A few days ago he has also decided that naps are not for him.  He’s over it.  So, I’ve tried inplementing “quiet time” alone in his room.  He’s not going for it.  He spends the whole time screaming.  Is this really a battle I want to fight?  When do kids stop napping anyway?  Honestly, I need that down time in the middle of the day if he wants me to keep my marbles. 

So, here’s my plan ( I just thought of it while I was writing.) I’m going to go to Target today after work and buy a bunch of cool (cheap) things that he would love to get his little paws on, but I’m going to keep them in a special “quiet time” box.  Genius, right?  So, he’ll have quiet time instead of nap time and maybe the lack of sleep will make him fall asleep easier at night, thus, shortening my “sitting in a rocker” time, which has actually turned into a nice prayer time.  Send me your prayer requests, I pray daily.  🙂 

I’m going to try the Supernanny approach to sitting in his room, too.  Move closer and closer to the door every night, until eventually I’m out.  I really don’t know how that is going to work, because he’s not stupid.  He going to know that I’m not in his room.  But it’ll be a fun little experiment. 

I’m trying to think on the bright side.  One day, he’s going to wretch at the thought of me going anywhere near his room.  And he’ll probably want to throw himself off a tall building before he shares a bed with his dad and I.   And that will be a sad, sad day for me.  I’ll think back to now and long for the “closeness” we have.  It’s  all about perspective, people.


7 responses

  1. Keep in mind that I am not a mercy filled person and am always quit short on patience. So….

    Naptime is 1-3 around these parts. I don’t care what that looks like, I just don’t want to see anyone until 3pm. (As I am writing this Ainsley woke up at 2:40 screaming bloody murder, so I will get her as to keep Aubrey asleep, but that’s the goal).

    If you cry at bedtime, I will come back all of one time, you better know what you want the first time or it will be a sad night for you. I then turn up the TV and ignore it. I do go back up, if say the crying has been going on for 20 plus minutes, calm down Aubrey and usually that’s that. I do have a friend who will not go back up and her daughter will cry out her name for upwards of 2 hours. She is like stone and doesn’t respond. It’s impressive.

    I do cave in the middle of the night. Aubrey woke up with “a spider on her pillow that was trying to get her” last night and I calmed her down, but about 10 minutes later she was climbing in with us. 4 hours later I carried her back to her room, since I hadn’t slept well. 2 hours later she woke up crying again, this time it was a bee getting her. Mike went in and cuddled with her in her bed for 10 minutes and she was good with that.

    It is a bummer because, like you said, you don’t want to have 2 kids up at midnight. But you also don’t want to spend your night on the couch. Anyway, that’s what I do. My kids don’t share a room, but they do share a wall so I do worry about them waking each other up. I hope Caden grows out of this stage quickly.

  2. Kailytn stopped nap time at 3 and Mackenzie is only 2 1/2 and nap time is hit or miss. I prefer her to miss it so she goes to bed better at night.

    As far as the middle of the night goes… if they cry, we don’t get them, but if they come in the room, then they get to cuddle with us til they fall back to sleep then we move them back to bed.

    They do share a room.. and going to bed is the worst… Kaitlyn will fall asleep within 5-10 mins but Mackenzie takes like a 1/2 hour or longer… we are always telling her to stay in bed, she gets spankings if she comes out of the room. But Kaitlyn always sleeps through the noise, I don’t know how.

  3. Hi Erin,
    I’ve never tried this, but some friends have had success with putting a mattress on their bedroom floor, and having the child sleep there. Then at least you don’t have a foot in your face all evening!

  4. Michelle reminded me of something that Alyssa did with Kelan. She put a sleeping bag under her bed, already out of its case, and if Kelan came into their room in the middle of the night, he knew he had to pull out the sleeping bag and sleep in/on it. They called it his nest. It worked for them.

  5. I was wondering if you have made any progress? Aubrey has been awake for 2 hours in her room and Ainsley has been singing in her crib for an hour. Today was a nap failure for sure! At least they haven’t cried or tried to come downstairs.

  6. Hey Erin!

    Megan’s right, the sleeping bag nest did work well for us. Kelan got to be close to us, and we didn’t have to move to the couch. He eventually did it less and less and now it is nearly non-existent. He asked to do it the other night mostly for old times sake. I don’t think he’s scared much anymore. My only real advice would be to not give up. If Caden seems grouchy like he needs a nap, then he probably does. Stick with it. I think most kids go through odd phases but then get back on track. Gavin was giving me the hardest time with naps the past couple of months, but Gavin REALLY needs a nap and that means I REALLY REALLY need him to have one! I finally figured out that I need to stay upstairs until he falls asleep. I can be cleaning, reading, scrapping…just as long as he can see me and hear me. My presence makes him less likely to “mess around” in his room. Anyway, good luck. Just keep trying until you find what works best for you guys. It will pass!

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