It eludes me. Seriously, I can’t figure out how moms do it. Exercise, I mean.
Let’s be honest, pregnancy and bringing forth life into this world has done a number on my physique. Yes, I have three lovely children to show for it, but my body! What the heck has happened to my body?!?!? Things are not where they used to be and I fear they will never go back. I’m trying to embrace my new shape and love it, but I just can’t do it. It’s not very lovable… or embraceable.
And I’m not just saying this to get comments like, “Oh Erin, you just had a baby! You look great!” Listen. I’ve lived in this here body for 32 years and I know it does not look great. No need to lie, my friends. No need.
Yesterday I posted a few pictures of me in a swimsuit. And the only reason I did so was to document my sister’s big day, because it was momentous… otherwise those would have gone straight into the trash can. When I went through the camera looking at those photos, I was seriously shocked at the chubby girl I was looking at. (And you should have seen the one that Geric took of me from behind… no, actually you should NEVER see that one. Never.) But, why is it that I can get dressed in the morning, look in the mirror and think, “I look cute today.” But if someone takes a picture of me, I look like a chubby version of the girl I just saw in the mirror? Do I not photograph well? Do I subconsciously suck in for the mirror? Or am I just delusional?
Whatever it is, I need to get into better shape. I could cut out fast food, or starbucks, or frozen yogurt trips, but I think what would really make a difference is exercise. The problem is, I can’t figure out how to do it as a mom.
I could go to the gym and put my kids in the kids gym, but the gym I’m a member of makes you pay $2 a kid, which would be $6 a day. So, if I went three times a week, that’s $18 a week, or $72 a month! Kinda pricey. To do something I don’t enjoy doing anyway. I need a motivator. Not a demotivator. Not to mention the fact that the last time I did that, we got kicked out of the gym because somebody couldn’t keep his hands to himself in the kids gym. That’s not embarrassing. I swear.
I’ve tried going to our park that has a walking path and bringing the boys bikes or scooters to ride while I walk with the baby in the stroller. But have you met my Jacob? I like to say that his love language is “Acts of Service.” He likes us to do things for him. Things like get him water, and find his flip flops, and wipe his butt. I don’t want to say he’s lazy… but he kind of is. So, the park thing is just annoying. I end up stopping every five steps, looking back and yelling, “Come on, Jacob! You can do it, buddy! Keep it up! You’re a champ!” Once again, not even remotely fun. Although I do work up a good sweat if I end up carrying his scooter while pushing the stroller.
Then there’s Jillian Michaels “Shred” video, but… blech. a) She’s annoying, right? b) After about a week, it’s just so repetitive. c) Doesn’t it just feel like exercise should be done outside?
I’ve thought, I could wake up really early and go walking/running before Geric leaves for the day or go when he gets home. But, have I mentioned that Elijah doesn’t sleep well at night? Getting up any earlier feels like torture. And evening is the tiredest time for me. Maybe I just need to suck it up and do that, though.
I’m a complainer, I know. I’m annoying myself, it’s not just you.
Then you have to factor in a shower. If you’re a man and you’re reading this, then you’re thinking, what the heck? Just take a shower. Sorry, it’s not that easy. It’s a strategic maneuver around here. It’s easiest for me to take a shower at night (which is another reason why running in the morning would mess up my life! I’d get all clean just to wake up and get sweaty? No thanks.) If I take a shower during the day I have to consider the time of day (naptime is preferable), where the boys are (preferably in separate rooms), what activities they are doing (hopefully something mind-numbing so they don’t realize that I am gone) and the amount of time I am actually in the shower (if I take the time to shave my legs, there’s usually some sort of disaster when I get out.) It’s a very small window of showertime opportunity, and if I miss it, then there’s no shower for me. (Sidenote: I used to feel bad for Geric when he’d come home and I’d still be in my pajamas, but now I just feel sorry for myself when that happens. What a life I lead.)
So, see? It’s practically impossible for me to exercise, right? I guess it’s possible, but it’s just not going to be remotely fun? Am I destined to be chubby forever? I need some tips!
Do you exercise? How do you do it?