My friend Jessica is going to take family portraits for us this weekend. So I, of course, was on the hunt for the perfect outfit. I’ve found it’s easier for me to buy a really cute new outfit and then rummage around in the boys closets to find something that matches me.
What? It’s true.
Anywho, after I had unsuccessfully scoured a few stores I decided to venture in to Forever 21. Why, you ask? Not real sure. I’m not a regular at Forever 21, but my best guess would be that I was feeling sorta desperate and there is a two-story Forever 21 right down the street from me, so I thought I would give it a go.
Very, very bad idea.
I just don’t belong there. And here is a list of my reasons why:
1. I’m not 21. I don’t feel like I’m 21. I don’t even wish I was 21. I really don’t understand why anyone would want to be 21 forever anyway. I mean, it was cool, but not that cool. 32 is waaaay cooler, right? Right? High five? Anyone?
2. When I walked in, the salesgirl greeted me and as I looked up and saw her wearing a wide-brimmed black hat with a white feather in it, I thought she was in costume. I thought she was joking. Like, she was trying on a go-back or something. When I realized she wasn’t, I really questioned if that was in fashion. Then I started to question my own taste in fashion. Am I totally out? I swear five minutes ago, I was confident in my own fashion tastes, but I think I might be out. Blogosphere, I beg of you, let me know, am I out? Are wide-brimmed hats perfectly acceptable indoor attire?
3. After skimming through a rack of horizontally striped shirts (which was every rack in the whole store, by the way) I looked around and wondered if anyone else thought the music they were playing was just a notch too loud. I kinda wanted to pull a Ross and gesture the manager with my hands to quiet down and lower the volume just a smidge. And just the fact that I remember that episode of Friends is probably more proof that I shouldn’t be shopping at Forever 21.
4. As I was wandering around the store amongst a busload of tiny high school cheerleader-types, I started wondering if I should take the escalator upstairs and browse in the Plus Size section. I’ve never actually shopped in a Plus Size store or section, but I’m starting to feel like that might be my place. And since in Forever 21 a size 7 is a real-life size -5, that would make me a size 48. I’m pretty sure that’s in the plus size section, right?
5. I started feeling judged by all the cheerleaders. Like, as they looked at me with my couple of hangers of clothes they secretly thought, “She’s not 21! Why is she even in here? Security!” So, I concocted a story if anyone asked why I was in Forever 21 in the first place. Why in world would anyone ask??? But if anyone did, I was shopping for my niece, or my little sister, or any other female in my life that is closer to the age of 21, and closer to a size -5. And then I would tell them that I get carded at Trader Joe’s all the time. All. The. Time.
So, anyway, I left Forever 21 without buying a thing. I actually abandoned my selections in a corner (The wide-brimmed hat girl will probably have to put them with the rest of the go-backs, if she doesn’t try them on and parade around the store wearing them first.)
Instead, bought a really cute top at a much more mature store.
So, what about you? Do you still shop at Forever 21?